Vaccination Day
by saria almasy albatou kinneas
Summary: A short story about Professor Hojo's favourite time of year. It'ss funny, I gauruntee it.


Vaccination Time 

There was always a certain day of the year that everyone hated. It made Scrooge's hate for Christmas look like a minor dislike. They hated it more than a lonely single person (AU: Me)on Valentines day.The employee's of Shinra, even the president himself, would rather go and have a root canal done. Two even.

Yes.

It was Vaccination day. Hojo's favourite day of the year.

Hojo himself was an enigma, most especially on Vaccination day. No one knew where he got so many syringes or where he got the vaccination, as nothing ever showed up on his annual accounting forms.

Some said that he recycled his syringes, while others argued that he was way too clean in his work to do something like that. When you walked into his office, you could smell the sanitizer burning your nostrils. They didn't want to think about where he got the vaccines...

This didn't bother them the most though. No, what struck fear into the hearts of those at Shinra was how no matter what, he managed to get you, and you wouldn't even see him coming.  
The only thing that gave away he was about to get you was the whoosh and blurr of his white lab coat as he swooped down upon you. The next thing you knew, there was a stabbing pain in your spinal cord and a mad cackling before he was gone again.

Now, Vaccination day couldn't only last for one day. There were just too many employees. And besides, this being Hojo's favourite time of the year, he liked to draw it out as long as possible. Therefore, Vaccination day became Vaccination week. He worked his way meticulously down the building, floor by floor. There being only sixty floors, his week was only six days, unless he was slacking, which rarely happened, or it had been a particularly uneventful year. In these cases, he would manage to draw it out for a few extra days.

However, he enjoyed this time of year so much, that he usually got through about ten floors per day. He had appealed to the President several times to have weekends eliminated at this time of the year.  
Afterall, it did put a break in his open syringe season. He had to wait two whole days before all of the employees returned to work, some shaking from the vaccination, some just shaking in fear, before he could finish the job.

But that was ok, he loved to watch them squirm. In the few days leading up to Vaccination Week, the employees would constantly look over their shoulders in fear, as the days grew nearer, they began to look over their shoulder with a cold sweat running down their necks. Also in these early days, he would make sure to be around the building in plain sight as often as possible. The way he could part the cafteria line like the red sea always brought a cynical smile to his face. He could clear the break room before he even fully entered it.

Now, they didn't know how he did it, as I've mentioned, you got no warning. He was so good at his job,  
that he even snuck up on first class SOLDIER's before they knew what hit them. Not even the hopeful little recruits saw it coming, and they were looking right at the victim-er-patient. They tried not to snicker at the instructors girlish shrieks of pain and surprise, until their fellow cadets started letting out similar cries and the room was filled with anguished wails as they were all vaccinated. He liked to linger at the exit, just outside the doors, and listen to the last of their screams with a satisfied sigh.

He liked to start with the president, for all the budget cuts to his department. Then his brat son, for undermining his work. He'd then move on to the heads of the other departments, because they were all so idiotic, they had it coming, and it was best to pick off the weakest ones first. He'd move on to the Turks, simply because the man who'd stolen his wife's heart was one of them. He'd move along down to the SOLDIER's, he liked to visit his son, and so on, until he finished with the very last of lowly secretaries and janitors on the ground floor.

There was no escaping Vaccination day. Even even you scheduled the two weeks surrounding and encompassing the dreaded time off, he'd know where you lived, what you did, and when best to get you. Whether you were asleep, at the gym, in the shower, out grocery shopping, or on a mission even in Wutai, Hojo found you, and he made sure you got your shot. But never on weekends, he liked to let the last twenty-odd floors sweat for those two days. Let them enjoy their freedom, they'd get what was coming to them soon enough.

Ah yes, Vaccination day. Run if you want, hide where you can, move, even, if you think it will help. But know this...

He will come.

He will find you.

And He WILL get you immunized.

Now, the annual Physical. There's another story worth hearing. But maybe later, when you stop shaking.


End file.
